Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
