Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
