Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
