This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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