Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
