what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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