IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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