I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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