I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
