Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
