she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
