She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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