just survived the first fart of the relationship.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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