Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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