oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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