my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got inside last night via doggy door
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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