At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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