so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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