He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
