you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
