I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
