Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
