I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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