Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
