I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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