My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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