She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
