Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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