he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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