I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
