a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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