Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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