ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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