I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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