I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
