I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
