went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
