Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
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My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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