That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
