Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
