Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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