hotel room ftw
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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