All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
