I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
