Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
