How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
