I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
