I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
