I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
