I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
