hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
