is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize