I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
