I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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