what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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