Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
