I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
