Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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