People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize