the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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