And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
