I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
