I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh god the rape fog is back!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
