So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize