this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I need moral support for this bender
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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