I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
