we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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