Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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